Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
