I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
