Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
