Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
