No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
