how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
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I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize