Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like I'm in dance class right now

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(650): View more from California

you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do

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(318): View more from Louisiana

the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I drank myself into bisexuality again.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?

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(309): View more from Illinois

there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s

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(970): View more from Colorado

Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper

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(806): View more from Texas

I'm like a great zombie Jesus.

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