my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
