singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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