there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
