I think I am morally bankrupt
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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