ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
