Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
