I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
