Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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