1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
