she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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