The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
