But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
