so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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