I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
