i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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