i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
