Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
