she woke up with a sticky ear
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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