I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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