we're blogging at a bar
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
