In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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