I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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