Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize