Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
