He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
