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• (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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• (858): View more from California

  You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.

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• (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

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• (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread

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