nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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