were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
