she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
