I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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