benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize