it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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