Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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