I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
