For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
