I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
