Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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