some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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