he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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