so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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