Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
