Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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