Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
