My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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