so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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