We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
