I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
