OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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