piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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