i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
