Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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