Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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