I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
